Precious Memories from the Nation's Capital Feis

If you’ll forgive this Proud Parent, I’d like to share some of my precious memories from a feis last weekend. Every feis experience has its challenges. The manner in which we meet those challenges is a large portion of the “life lessons” available to be learned through Irish Dance. And not all of those lessons are for the dancers!

My daughter had her first “false start” experience on stage this Sunday. (I know, I know, it happens to everyone at some point, for various reasons.) One count into the music, Katie stopped dancing and burst into tears. The judge (to whom I am eternally grateful!!!) came over to calm her and encouraged her to try again. Thankfully, Katie took a deep breath to muster her courage, tried again, and danced a great hornpipe! The crowd surrounding the stage gave her a huge round of applause … which caused me to burst into tears of pride (and relief)!

[Note to self – stuff pockets with Kleenex when attending a feis.]

A few hours later, Katie had her second ever false start experience, this time on a different stage, simply because she lost her concentration and started the wrong step. However, she did not “lose it” on the stage! She stopped dancing, walked back to her place in line, kept her composure, and waited for the judge’s instruction to dance again. After leaving the stage, she buried her face in my hug and had a good hard cry. Then she pulled herself together, sat at the edge of the ballroom … and started making shadow puppets on the wall. (After all, learning how to handle false starts is a very mature lesson at the tender age of eight!)

As a parent, this one feis has caused me to age at least ten years! But it has also reaffirmed my love of this activity. Simply reading about the two false start experiences, you may assume that we consider this feis “not one of our better days”. Not true! It was a great lesson in evaluating priorities. Sure, those two dances were certainly not Katie’s best memories of competition experiences. But they did not overshadow the day!

For every experience, there is an opportunity to look at the bright side.

For every bar of music, there is an opportunity to demonstrate a true love of dance (which is fun to do no matter what the scoreboards read later).

For every parent watching, there is an opportunity to marvel at the innocence of youth, and to burst with pride at the courage and the talent of these dancers.

For every situation that seems a bit overwhelming, there is an opportunity to take a break, find a quiet corner and read a book, or make shadow puppets on the wall.

For every hassle of negotiating an overcrowded stage area, there is an opportunity for shared experiences with dear friends, new and old. (ahem… sorry, ZandB, I meant “not so new”)

And, most gratefully, for every smile shared, there is someone else who will reciprocate. The laughs that we shared (with each other and with our friends) are the reasons that Katie and I will fondly remember the 2006 Nation’s Capital Feis. Hey, who could NOT have fun spending a day with the likes of ZandB and my newest feis friend, DanceMom1204 from Kentucky?!?!

How to enjoy an outdoor feis on a rainy day...

1. Get in the car at 6am and drive for two hours while hoping against hope that you’ll drive out of the bad weather.



2. Keep your sense of humor, and surround yourself with those who laughingly say, “Tell me again why we’re here today in this weather!”



3. Improvise. And marvel at the smart people who actually brought tents.



4. Keep in mind that kids grow, so those shoes weren’t going to fit too much longer anyway.



5. Enjoy listening to the difference in sound of a soggy hardshoe in the middle of the stage as compared to the same hardshoe in the puddles at the edges of the stage.



6. When finished dancing, visit the Celtic Fling exhibits for a walk across the Misty Bridge. What’s a bit of mist after a downpour of raindrops so big that they bounced, causing it to rain up as much as down?!



7. And when the rain stops after the competitions are finished (Murphy’s Law … what would an Irish event be without Murphy in attendance?!), do something that you would not have the opportunity to do at any other feis in the world – enjoy a ride on Wrinkles, the elephant!



8. On the drive home, stop for a delicious dinner (in our case, at An Poitin Stil in Timonium, MD) and toast a successful family outing! Then laugh as the skies open once again, this time with lots of thunder and lightning, just as the plan to attend the Celtic Fling Feis again next year was being discussed …!!!!

Pondering Passionate Parenting

(written 2/24/06, originally posted at www.voy.com/60473/)

As a neophyte in the world of Irish dance, I recently reflected on the path that my young daughter and I have traveled thus far. It began in a fairly common way, although maybe a bit younger than most. A borrowed copy of Riverdance from the library on a snowy day led to a purchase of it for an Easter basket, which led to begging for lessons. At the tender age of five, lessons began, and it was clear from the start that this was her first true passion. Recognizing that, the protective parent in me felt the need to learn more about this activity.

Exactly where is unclear, but somewhere in my research of talking to other parents, learning about feiseanna, and learning what a VoyForum is, my interests crossed a subtle line from protecting my daughter in the pursuit of her passion to discovering my own passion for Irish dance. I, too, became passionate about the energy of the music, the rhythm of the dance, the camaraderie of the events! And I found avenues to explore my own interests.

A mere eight months ago, we embarked upon my daughter’s first feis. There, I experienced the inexplicable magic of my gap-toothed, U7 dancer who, long before visiting the score room, smiled up at me and said, “That was so much fun, Mom! When can I do it again?” If I had not yet recognized my new addiction to Irish dance, that moment clarified it.

How much of this is my passion and how much of it is hers? Currently, there isn’t the need to draw a line dividing the two. But, there is indeed an important line that I hope never to cross. As parents, we want nothing more than to gift our children with the supportive parenting necessary to truly pursue the possibilities of their dreams. The dream of most young dancers entering the world of competitive Irish dance is, of course, to rise to the top as a champion. And a not-so-subtle line lies between where that dream is genuinely the child’s dream shared by her supportive parents, and where it becomes a parent’s dream supported by a loving child who doesn’t want to disappoint. Like a trip wire, that line lurks in the shadows of a temptation to coach just a moment too long, when instead a simple hug and smile are all that are needed.

Cautious eyes find this line and confidently avoid it. And lovingly the journey becomes that of passions shared. One way that my daughter feeds her passion is by performing and perfecting her dances in competition. One way that I feed my own passion is by writing about Irish dance. I perch at my PC, pausing to ponder passionate parenting, while poised at the precipice of my daughter placing into Prizewinner, the precursor to Prelim. Where will this lead? Will she one day dance at a champion level? Truly, the answer is not important! We savor each smile shared along the way ... purposefully practicing patient persistence.

There are, of course, positive and negative sides to every activity. Many of the positive aspects of Irish dance are shared on the message boards. Occasionally, a few too many of the negative aspects are shared. So I offer a small twist on a familiar prayer …

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things about competitive Irish Dance that I cannot change, the courage to change for the better the things that I can, and the wisdom to visit Zebadiah and Beauregard’s Front Porch often enough to recognize the difference.

Attending Your First Feis

Have you ever struggled to describe a feis to someone who has never been? Is it true that a picture is worth a thousand words?

With the help of two very talented photographers, I recently created a slide show entitled “Attending Your First Feis”. Its purpose is to help prepare families from our dance school for the world of competitive Irish dance. Perhaps a few others will find it useful or enjoyable…

Click here to view “Attending Your First Feis”

Meg, a MAID … and the webmistress for the Teelin School of Irish Dance