When the Ghillie is on the Other Foot

As a parent of an Irish dancer one of the most common questions I hear is, “Did you Irish dance when you were young, and is that why your daughter dances?” No, actually it’s the other way round in reverse.

Yes, I am from a strong Irish-American family. But I feel more ties to Brooklyn and Queens than I do to Dublin or Galway. I had never even heard of Irish dance before seeing Riverdance, which was the event that later caused my 5-year-old to say, “Mommy, that’s what I want to do!” In fact, it was four years ago this month that I registered my oldest daughter, Katie, for her first Irish dancing lessons, an eight-week beginner class the summer before her kindergarten year.

My, how we’ve grown…

Upon recognizing the passion with which Katie was approaching her lessons those first two years, the protective parent in me wanted to learn as much as possible about this world of Irish dance. So, I immersed myself in “MAIDness”! And then, as I spent more and more time at the dance studio watching from my passive position in the waiting area, I began toying with the idea of trying this activity first hand.

On my 37th birthday, I bought a pair of ghillies, giggling while lacing them onto my own feet and not my daughter’s. They looked enormous! A few months later, in January 2006, I was able to coordinate our family’s schedule in such a way that I could join an Adult Beginner Irish dance class.

Never did I think that I would be learning to dance as an adult! The only structured dance experience that I had as a child was… not an entirely positive experience. At age seven, I took ballet lessons from an elderly French woman who stood at the barre smoking cigarettes while barking instructions to her class. She was a bit scary.

Yet now, thirty years later, I had become completely addicted to Irish music and the beauty of Irish dance, and felt ready to try a class. (Of course, it helped that I knew my instructor would not have the same approach to teaching…)

My reaction to that first Irish dance class? Man, this is harder than it looks!!! I am a fairly active and fit individual, but learning how to hop around on my toes with legs crossed, feet turned out, arms at my side, and any semblance of rhythm and grace is mighty difficult.

Within a few months, persistence paid off, and I was able to learn the basics and start working on the beginner level steps. Then, an interesting opportunity presented itself…

While registering for the Rhythm of Ireland Feis last fall, I happened to notice that the adult competitions were held on a Saturday night and all of Katie’s competitions for that feis were held on Sunday. I had always wondered what it would be like to compete in Irish dance, but with a young dancer competing and an even younger child tagging along, I didn’t see how it would be possible anytime soon. Yet, could this be the feis to try???

Holding my breath, I decided to give it a go and registered for the Adult Beginner competitions of the ROI Feis. (Yikes!)

After tackling the first major obstacle of deciding what to wear, the day of the competition arrived and we loaded the car for the four hour drive to Virginia Beach. Our family had been looking forward to this weekend trip for a mini-vacation, but unfortunately Scott learned two weeks before that his job had business in England which required him to be there. Major obstacle number two: how to be a responsible Mom to my 8-year-old and 4-year-old daughters while competing on Saturday night past their bedtime. I debated forfeiting my entry, but thanks to the support of very dear friends at our Irish dance school, we worked out a plan.

I love our Irish dance school, and I’m sure that’s a big part of my attraction to this activity. The pre-travel coordination of arranging carpools, exchanging cell phone numbers, splitting hotel reservations, and planning meals together are examples of the wonderful sense of community that our school shares. It’s a great environment for a MAID/Dancer… which I guess is officially what I am now!

The ROI Feis events began Saturday evening at 7pm with the music competition, followed by the adult competitions. After a brief warm-up in the hallway, I reported to the stage for the Adult Beginner Reel while my daughters sat with friends.

Waiting in the “on deck” chairs just before my dance, I was tickled pink when a gaggle of girls from our school came running over to wish me luck! I asked them all to promise not to laugh at me if I were to fall on my tookkus whilst dancing. Of course, ZandB’s daughter promptly responded that they would be laughing with me, not at me. How could I possibly ask for more support than that?!

Having vicariously experienced Katie's first feis, and the many since then, I expected that I should feel fairly well prepared for my own first feis. Right? Um… no, not really! There are certain events that you just have to experience to fully understand. Stepping onto the stage for that first competition is one of them.

With butterflies twittering in my belly, I walked out to line up in position. The wood stage felt different under my ghillies than our studio dance floor. The size of the stage somehow seemed enormous yet confining. The judge sat at the table facing the stage, pencil poised. The musician raised his fiddle and bow… and five, six, ready, go… I danced... and less than two minutes later, I was done. Phew! It was both terrifying and exhilarating!

One dance down, onto the next! Getting past the nerves of that first one was a formidable hurdle, and the subsequent dances were definitely more exhilarating than terrifying.

After my second dance (light jig), my girls were looking rather tired, so my friend Kim offered to bring them upstairs to the hotel room for bedtime. I gave Kim the room key, offered a few tips for bedtime, and kissed each girl goodnight. Somehow in those few minutes I missed my window of opportunity to practice my slip jig before it was time to check in for the next competition. Not good.

Next thing I knew, I was standing on the stage listening to an unfamiliar tune, second-guessing the count, and flubbing the beginning of the dance. Then, partway into a step, I turned a corner and my mind went blank – I hadn’t a clue which move was next. OOPS! With a slightly goofy grin on my face (suppressing laughter), I managed to fake my way through the rest of the song while dancing some impromptu choreography. The very polite judge chuckled as she dismissed me from the stage after the competition was over.

The lesson learned from that experience? Practice, practice, and then practice some more! I had underestimated the effects of stage fright, and the various factors of competing which require a greater level of concentration than dancing in a practice session.

In the end, I thankfully not only “survived” my first feis experience, but quite liked it as well! There is a different kind of energy at a competition than there is in a class. It’s not simply a sense of competition; it’s a sense of passion for this activity. The adults that I met at that first competition were friendly, supportive, and very welcoming. It was fun to be with a group of new friends who shared my passion for Irish dance!

Encouraged by that first experience, I registered for my second feis – the Comhaltas Feis on May 27, 2007. This competition presented new challenges…

The Comhaltas Feis is sponsored by our local branch of the CCE, and run by volunteers from the several dance schools in our area. It is also a one day feis, not a two day feis. Therefore, at this feis I wore three different hats: Dancer, Feis Mom, and Volunteer. Crazy? Maybe, yes, but it actually worked out just fine! Well, mostly anyway…

Role #1: Dancer. All of the Beginner and Advanced Beginner competitions at this feis were scheduled for the morning, Figures competitions around lunchtime, and Novice and Prizewinner competitions in the afternoon. My daughter competes at the Prizewinner level, and I now dance all Advanced Beginner level. So my first hat of the day was that of dancer. I packed everything needed for both my daughter and I, then drove to the feis by myself in the early morning, while Scott kept the girls home, then drove out later. So far so good avoiding the conflicting roles.

However, I was registered to dance a 2-Hand reel with an adult friend, and my daughter was also registered for the 3-Hand and 4-Hand competitions. Therefore, roles would need to overlap during the Figures competitions.

The original plan was for Scott and the girls to arrive early enough that I could help Katie get dressed and ready in between my own competitions. It didn’t quite happen as planned. I greeted Scott and the girls, started helping Katie get ready, then noticed that my hornpipe competition was checking in on stage. Scott is a great Feis Dad – he remained calm, and continued helping Katie get dressed. Unfortunately, though, he had never before attempted to secure a wig, and wasn’t quite as adept at it as I am.

A few minutes later, while I sat three stages away waiting to dance the Adult 2-Hand, Katie and her team were dancing the U10 4-Hand. Part way through the dance, Katie’s wig started slipping, and eventually pulled out her bun and dangled from the end of her long braided hair. Fantastic dancer that she is, Katie ignored the wig completely and continued dancing. After the dance, Scott met her at the edge of the stage and rescued the dangling hairpiece, in hopes that the judge might catch a glimpse and have pity on a Feis Dad by not counting the mishap against the team. Maybe it helped – the team placed first!

Meanwhile, I finished my role as dancer with fewer nervous blunders than I had experienced at my first feis, and an overall positive experience. Comhaltas Feis is much larger than the ROI Feis, and there were many more adult dancers. Each of my competitions had between 10 and 15 competitors. I enjoyed reconnecting with some friends I’d met at ROI, and also met several new friends. Yep, I definitely like this environment!

Role #2: Feis Mom. Sharing some giggles, I helped Katie secure her wig so she’d be ready for the next competition, then I changed out of my dance costume and into my Feis Mom clothes. This was the first local feis of the year, and I enjoyed a great afternoon of catching up with “Feis Friends” while watching my daughter have fun dancing.

Finally, Role #3: Volunteer. I then had the opportunity to assist with stage management for the last shift of the day, and with clean-up. It was a great feeling to be part of the positive energy of this event! Although most people are feeling pretty pooped by the end of the day, it’s usually the “truly addicted” who are still hanging around for the final competitions. As a stage manager checking in dancers, a quick word of encouragement and a confident smile can go a long way to cheer weary dancers. Having recently had the opportunity to feel it as a dancer, it was a true privilege to be able to offer it to others.

It’s all about the passion. I truly enjoy parenting an Irish dancer, and I truly enjoy being an Irish dancer myself. Sure, time management presents certain challenges, but that is true for every activity. For us, for now, sharing this particular activity together is worth the effort.

I would love to convince more MAIDs and DAIDs of this…